oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
