let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
