my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize