i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
