Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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