i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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