Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
