From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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