she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
