Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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