her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
