Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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