hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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