We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
