hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
