Only a mothe r could love this liver
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
