my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
