I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
