She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
