I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
