You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
