Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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