lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
