Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's just like the Real World with babies
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just want nice things and good sex
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
