i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
