there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
