Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
