I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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