Where is the hickey?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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