The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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