I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
