When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
