Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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