I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
