Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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