the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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