He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
