Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
