Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
