Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
