This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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