I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
