YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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