I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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