Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
this hospital has no fireball
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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