Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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