So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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