Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
