Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas

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(319): View more from Iowa

you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met

(1-319): View more from Iowa

thanks it was an honor just to be nominated

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(248): View more from Michigan

Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.

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(210): View more from Texas

Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.

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(510): View more from California

Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.

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(207): View more from Maine

I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?

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(513): View more from Ohio

I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum

(513): View more from Ohio

There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood

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