Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is Oprah even human
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
