Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
