I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
