i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
birth control should be required to get into college
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
