Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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