Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
