when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
