32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
