People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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