I wanna bring you to show and tell
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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