Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize