she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
