I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
