this beer tastes like vomit already
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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